hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
