Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
