when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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