...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
