Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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