my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend