WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol