Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess