I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.