i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
