you suck at this game today
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.