I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?