HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
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