Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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