Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
