I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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