dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
