just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
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I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
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And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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