A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
