shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
