Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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