She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
