whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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