so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Someone signed my nipple.
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