My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
