Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
