i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
