She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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