awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think I am morally bankrupt
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
