D3 body, D1 cock
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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