THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
