good thing vaginas are great cup holders
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
