idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
