No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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