if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize