apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
