I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
