You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
