With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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