You work out of a Hotel?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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