Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize