: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We are two peas in an std pod
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
