Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize