This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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