Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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