woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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