so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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