remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
