in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
