Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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