her facebook's as public as her vagina
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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