dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
