He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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