Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize