my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
