I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
