Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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