I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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