I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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