I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
