Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
