Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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