Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
