last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
