It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
