I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
