Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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