i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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