We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
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Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
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I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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