I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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