Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
