Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
