if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
